How to adopt.

If you've ever, ever, even if it was years ago, thought "Maybe we should Adopt" you should read this.


I can't imagine adopting without my Faith. I just can't. God and Adoption go hand in hand. May I remind you,  Moses was adopted. Ruth was adopted and Jesus himself was raised and I would assume loved very much by a man that was not his biological father, Joseph.

For me, Adoption and all of the decisions that come with adoption have been answered with prayer. First, I pray and ask heavenly father to help me think clearly and to guide my education and instincts. The next steps aren't always in this order but most of the time they are. I educate as much as I can, get a feel of what seems the best for our family, then talk to my husband and get his opinion. Together we pray.

I personally think every married couple should pray about adoption. I think they should pray a few times throughout their life about adoption. What might be a "No" now, might be a "Yes" later. This happened to Shane and I. You can read about it here.
(If you get a "No" don't think that's a "get out of jail" card. haha.. You were suppose to think about adoption for a reason. Maybe you will adopt later and maybe not, but until then Pray for orphans. Pray for adoptive failies. You can also Donate your time or money towards the orphan cause. You can advocate for children trying to find families.)

I also think that some single people should adopt too. (GASP) Yes, I just said that. There are too many Orphan's in the world for me to NOT say it. If a single stable adult has prayed and feels like they should adopt then Yay!!

You know you SHOULD adopt, now what?

This is really important!!! Do not be surprised if now you decided to adopt that EVERYTHING goes wrong! 

I hear of this all the time. I experienced it. 

The week we decided we were adopting. A tire went flat, our cow died, my kids got sick, the neighbor dog killed our chicken, and that was just to name a few. 

Satan doesn't like good things to happen! 

This is where I started.

There's a great site called Rainbow kids.
 Here's the link http://www.rainbowkids.com/international-adoption/country-programs/usa

I spent hours on this site. It lists each country that is open for adoptions.  I wrote each country including the US down on a paper. Then I went through and read about each country. After you click on the specific country there's  paragraphs that say, Children Available, Parent Qualification, Timeline, and Tavel. I studied each paragraph...

Children available- I eliminated a few countries right off the bat because the children were older then 6. However, I would pray about this before eliminating older children Chu was two years older then we expected.

Parent Qualifications for COUPLES- Th
ere were many that I eliminated because we had too many children to qualify. 
*** Today when I looked at the China page it had a few things WRONG and this might be the case for other countries too.
 Note, that you can obtain a waiver for having an BMI higher then 40.
 You may be able to obtain a waiver if you have a serious medical condition too. Especially if your spouse is healthy. 
You can also adopt a child with the same medical conditions you have.    

Timeline- If the timeline to adopt took longer then 3 years, I eliminated it. Which took away the China "Healthy" program and left the "Special need" Program. 

Travel- I had 4 biolgical children so how long I left them was a huge consideration! If it required more then 2 trips or a huge amount of time in country,  I eliminated a country. However, If this is your first child or you can easily take your children with you, then I wouldn't eliminate what I did. 

When I was done. I was left with Ukraine, Poland, Russia, The special need China program, and the US.  Russia closed shortly after that and I eliminated it.

 I started praying about a specific country and I used the link at the bottom of each country that says "Agencies placing children from this county" to call agencies. 

I called a few  agencies from each country and asked 

1. What are the fees for this country?
2. Has this country closed in the past?
3. How stable is it?

Funny thing, when I would call about other countries, I kept hearing "Chinese special need adoption are very stable, cheaper fees compared to other countries, and don't be afraid of the special need program."

Pretty soon, I was down to China special needs and the US.

The US had two options. Infant adoptions or Foster care.
I specifically prayed about Foster care and felt No.

Both Shane and I Prayed about infant adoptions and Shane felt No.

So China it was!

But maybe you'll end up in a different country. If you do, ask on your fb wall. example. Do you know anyone that has adopted from Africa? Try searching on the FB search African adoptions.
Also, You can send me a pm on FB and ill try to help you. or comment below.



How to navigate the China adoption world will be my next post.

8 months home.

There's so much to post about! 

I hope I can remember it all! 

Here's a few pictures of firsts! 

First pumpkin harvest. 

First Halloween, 

We've had a few good changes. 

He was blessed in our Church and will be known as Oliver ChuSheng Atwood on the records! 

It was a very special day for our family! Lilly and cousin Millie were baptized too. 

I'm happy to report that Chu doesn't throw food as much. Yay for mommy! 

Lydia had a birthday so now they are both 3. 

Together Chu and Lydia keep this momma busy. Every time I turn around there's a new mess. These two are partners in crime. ;) AND they are both climbers. 

Yup, that's a sippy cup! Ingenuity, right? 

What one doesn't think of the other does. There's lots and lots of giggles at our house. 

These two have such a cute little bond now that it's hard to believe the first 3 months they did NOT like each other! 

Sometimes, momma feels left out. ;) 

Common guysss...someone give the momma a snuggle! 

This will do. 

Lately, Chu has been telling me, "I da baby" He loves to snuggle. He has the sweetest giggle when I tell him "momma's baby, your mine."

Yes, he's that tiny. Those are 12 month Jammie's! 

But he is growing. 

At our Big November appointment we met with quite a few different doctors. 

First he was weighed and measured! 

He weighs 21 pounds! 

He's 28 inches tall! 

(The day we met our boy he was 13 pounds and 25 inches. )

Left-in the orphanage. Right- Halloween night. 

Then, we met with the speech therapist. 

I should tell you, we are currently in a language rush.  I think Chu is trying his hardest to catch up with Lydia because is he quite a jabber box lately. 

Chu is trying so hard to carry on conversations. The problem is, he thinks telling Lydia "no" or tattling on her is a great conversation. Haha... Little stink. 

About three times a day I have to say, "Chu, quit telling Meim, No!"

(Chu has shortened Mei Mei (little sister) to meim) 

The speech therapist said Chu is doing so good that he does not need speech therapy.  

Next, we went to hearing test. He failed again. I'm not worried yet. We will get a more in depth test later. 

Finally, it was our big Genetecist appointment. The Genetecist was the nicest, kindest man. I felt like Chu was in capable kind hands. 

Chu's official diagnosis is SED dwarfism. 

Which didn't surprise us. :) 

He's perfect. 

Chu also had his first thanksgiving. 

He approved. :) 

And my goodness! Thank you Heavenly Father for this sweet boy...

What a blessing he is!

Something to think about...

There's been a thought going around and around in my brain. 

Have you been to your local animal shelter lately? 

I have been in ours quite a bit lately. (Lilly's birthday is coming up and I'm keeping an eye out for a small breed dog.)

Our local animal shelter is quite nice. It's clean. The animals are clean and well fed. But I'm sad every time I go in there. Because I know some will never be adopted. :( some animals will never know love. 

Today when I ran in there, I was happy to see they had half the animals. Most of the time they have about 40 dogs and 40 cats. 

You know how there's a humane society in just about every town in America? 

Well there's an orphanage in just about every town or county in China! 

Our local animal shelter has better conditions then Chu's orphanage had. 

My local pound had way less animals then the orphanage had children! 200 children in Chu's orphanage. 

Children people! Babies, toddlers, little ones who want snuggles, hugs, and blue balloons! 

And the pound smelled better. 

Next time you go to your local animal shelter, picture babies in cribs instead of dogs in runs. 

Please pray about adopting.

Scary words and doctor appointments

We had Oliver Chu's first appointment with a specialist today. 

But...

I think I need to back up and tell you a few things...

Oliver was adopted through China's "special need"program. (A lot of you know this but I know a few don't.)

The phrase "special need" tends to scare people. They think of kids with bigger mental issues, major heart issues, cancer ect... Let me be extremely brief and tell you "special need" CAN be those things. But It can also be really simple things like missing a finger, small weight, born premature, being older then 4 years of age, being born (gasp) a boy. (There's an unnecessary fear here in the US for adopting boys. It really bugs!)

Chu was also considered "Special Focus" which basically means... "They" thought he would have a harder time Finding a family. (Sometimes, files are not special focus at first. Sometimes, files are matched with families. If the families chose not to move forward then a file can become "special focus." In Chu's case, it was probably because he had more then one need. 

The first and very simple need was Pigeon Chest.  Basically, his rib looks like it was broken and healed wrong. This does not affect him, at all! It simply just something you can see. 

As he's gained weight, I've forgotten it was there. I don't even see it. 

The second need... Was his size. 

In Chu's case, he was "labeled" with dwarfism.  I say "labeled" because I really don't think their were any tests done and HELLO! He was only 13 pounds! Did they feed him? NO!

I may sound bitter and I am about the starving. But that label! I'm so thankful for that label!!! 

Do you remember the post about the word I woke up with in my head?  Here's the post if you don't. 

http://sweetremininiscence.blogspot.com/2014/03/let-adventure-begin.html?m=1

That word was DWARFISM! That word guided us to our son! 

Dwarfism.

 It's another word that scares people. I don't understand this. I really don't. People with dwarfism are just shorter people. That's it!  Hmmm... A person that's short. 

A little person.  

Guess what?! That's me! So again, Chu takes after momma. :) 

I have another beatiful story about dwarfism that I will tell in another post. 

(And sense were on the subject Quit using the word "Midget" it's very doragatory! It's a true scary word! Little people cringe at this word because it was a circus word.) 

I'm going to be really frank!  WE DO NOT CARE IF CHU HAS DWARFISM. Really! He will live a full and happy life either way! 

So back to the Dr. Appointment.

This was NOT a geneticist. This was a "special need" specialist from Primary Children's hospital.  

(I think it's so cool that he drove all that way to help children out here!)

We don't have difinitive answers on whether Chu is a Little Person. More tests on that are coming. (Thyroid and others) 

Honestly, he's going to be little anyways. Even if he doesn't have the typical dwarfism he most likely will have a secondary form of dwarfism from Malnourishment. 

We are also doing a bone age to see what age his bones are. 

But here's what we do know... 

His heart, lungs, and overall health is good! 

There is some slight concern with hearing. He was a bit low in high frequency noises. This could be caused by cold or allergies. So We will be going back in a few months to check again. 

His weight had "plateaued" at 19 pounds. Two happy reasons for this- 

1. He's moving! He's moved more in the last few months then his whole three years of life! (Stuck in a crib 20+ hours a day!) 

2. He's not gaining because his body has been fixing things! 

I'm not exaggerating!!!

•His belly button use to stick out 1/2 inch. I measured it. Its still an outy but it's fairly flat. 

•His front right tooth use to be almost horizontal to the floor. It was pretty bad. 

I thought it was from this finger but he still sucks on his finger and That tooth is straight down!  I can't help but be amazed at what good nutrician can do! 

•Last but not least, he's grown an inch in the last two months! (This is the first of any growth we've seen!  He's 27 inches tall! 

Chu's file was made August 2012 he was 24 inches long. He was 26 inches long the day we got him. So he had only grown 2 inches in 2 years. 

So that inch in two months is huge!

The doctor said,

"I charted Oliver's weight and height. Oliver is currently in the 50% for a 9 month old maybe a few 10 month babies." 

He's still so tiny. This was taken a few days ago. 

But look at where we came from! 

Thighs that I could wrap my short fingers around and touch.  

These pictures really don't show how small he was. His skin has a false chubby appearance. 

It's like a sharpet puppy. Like his skin grew but his bones and muscles didn't. 

See his left arm? Blow it up and really look. That's how big his arms really were. Absolutely no muscle and fat just That weird skin thing... So crazy...

And look how big his head was to his body. Poor baby... 

 One inch is big on him! 

It was a good appointment. 

Thanks so much for prayers. 

By the way... 

The nurses all pronounced him

"The cutest thing ever!" 

I might be a touch prejudice, just a touch, ;) but I agree! 

My hero home 4 months

Our little monkey has been home 4 months! 

Can you believe it? 

He's such a part of our home! 

The pitter patter of little feet...

Chu is pretty much running as fast as he can, these days.  He still falls a lot and I sure worry about his noggin. 

He's still not a fan of the "green blanket of deathly needles" aka grass. Although, he has finally decided to leave the blanket he thought he was marooned on and walk across the grass.

 (This is good but, honestly, it was nice to have him confined while I did yard work. Haha... ) 

Also, He absolutely hates when momma weeds the garden and weeding has to be done so... There is a lot of whining! 

Moving on up... 

He has some interesting techniques at climbing on the couch.

 The first one I call the "ballerina technique". He sticks his super flexy leg and foot up on the couch, like a short ballerina at a practicing bar, then pulls himself up. Here's video of the ballerina technique. 

http://youtu.be/dj472qRrjvk

The second is literally "backwards." This one only works if the recliner is flipped up. He leans the back of his head against the recliner. Then, he walks his feet up the console. (That's some creative thinking right there!) 

He will venture to play a bit with toys now. Maybe only 20 minutes a day but that's better then nothing. Food is still more important then toys! 

But he is not gulping bottles down anymore. In fact, he's been leaving an ounce. This is Huge! 

Fun firsts...

We've had a lot of first with Chu this last month. 

First time in a pool. 

He loved it! 

And makeshift pools. 

He also went to his first real swimming pool. 

He loved the baby float. But still liked momma's arms better. :) 

We went to the lake for the Fourth of July.  Chu cried and cried until I took him in the water with me. Poor kids has a very ungracefull  mother and I slipped on the rock getting in. Dunked Chu face first in the fridged cold water!  I expected him to cry, because I mean, he'd just been crying for  15 minutes. But nope he looked shocked and then smiled.

Happy first Fourth of July, son! 

We went up the mountains for a load of rock  and he didn't love that. 

We hauled wood too. At first, he wasn't sure what to think of the mountains. 

Then decided he hated it. 

http://youtu.be/UyWiByyp5iA

Mr. Magoo has moves...

In the safety of the truck he cheered up enough to dance a bit. Here's a video. 

http://youtu.be/uEGrVP9Rd0A

So happy to see this boy bounce to music. 

Baby sitter blues...

There was a large fire a few weeks ago. Shane and I rushed to help my brother evacuate.  Chu was left with a sitter for the first time. He did well. Grandma said he kept giving kisses. With a bio child I would probably be thrilled that He really didn't miss us. But I was sad.  I'm hoping it's because he was in our own home and just thought we were outside. 

Channeling Daffy Duck...

His language is still small. Small but precious. He copies single words all the time but is not clear. He says the same phrases to get his point across. "I want up"sounds like "I on uhhh..." 

"Ion dat" for I want that. (I think he's channeling Daffy Duck from tinty toons.) 

He says thank you but doesn't actually open his mouth.  Mandarin is such a tonal language. He must be humming thank you. Ha! 

We have been teaching a bit of sign language to help us all out. 

http://youtu.be/md1SBX-M1vc

(He still says "no" when asked if his food is good. ((Cracks me up)) And yet he eats every drop and then some! He had three of those tortilla wraps that day! Plus, some fruit. )

His language is very whiny, especially for food. 

So we are working on sounding positive like this

http://youtu.be/UPns79ExQws

Built like momma...

Not growing tall but gaining weight. 

Chu is weighing in at 18 pounds 5 oz. 

He still has not grown in height. Our ped says to give him time. 

Every one comments on his tummy, that it's chubby so he must be gaining good weight, but it's really a malnourished tummy. (Protein deficiency) Were hoping it will go down more as he gets healthier. 

His belly button had gone down a half inch! Not kidding or exaggerating. 

But for the record, we love him - growth or not- big belly or not. 

Double trouble

We had a break through with Lydia and Chu. Up til' now Chu has really not liked any loves from Lydia. A kiss from Lydia was always groaned at but he is now excepting kisses and (gasp) has even given a few. 

They get in mischief together and make big messes together. They fight over toys. So, I guess they're siblings. ;) 

We still have work but it's coming. 

I'm the mom...

^ has been muttered to my older three children many times! (Especially Violet) They over love this squishy kid and who can blaim them? 

Have I mentioned he has the softest skin! It's like silk! 

The past is in the past... 

Or is it? I recently found out some new things about Chu's swi life. Some very sad things. I'm trying to process it and figure out how to write a post without giving details that are only Chu's to give. 

This info came in a time when I was really struggling with patience for a very whiny Chu.  I needed it. I am more patient with him. And the poor boy might be getting squished even more. More? ;) 

He really is my little hero. 

http://magis.to/JzggXwVWR14hIj8HDmEwCXp5

.

You make me happy!

 Last night, I was making a video and I was choosing songs. I kept playing this song called "You Make Me Happy."  I noticed that Chu was bobbing his cute little head to it so I tried to record him. 

Well, it didn't work like I planned. 

Not at all! 

 

But watch it anyways!

Three things you should know before watching this video. 

1. I had know idea I'd let the camera slip onto me so much. But I'm glad it was.  It captured how much I adore this boy. 

2. It was an automatic generating program. I would have never stopped it on my own face. (I'm camera shy) 

3. In case you watch it and don't get what were saying. Read below the video. 

4. Hold onto your seat. So much preciousness it's hard to handle! ;) 

5. I can not sing. 

http://magis.to/L3x7XgVWR14hIj8HDmEwCX13

Okay, in case you didn't catch what happened. 

I was singing " You make me happy" 

Chu was answering "my mommy"

Yes, he has said mommy before. A lot! 

But this. This was just special! 

Here it is again. without all the bells and whistles and very short. 

http://youtu.be/UmRfCMZLiB0

What a precious gift for both of us to have recorded! 

The moment, when I knew my son knew what "mommy" means! 

Sweet Chu, you really do make Mommy happy! Happy 3 month home adversary! 

How did we get so lucky?

"Out of all the kids how did you get so lucky to get him?" My sweet sister in law asked upon meeting him. 

" I know," I said and had to choke back tears as I watched him smile and the whole room light up. 

I think about this a lot! 

I just read there are 575,000 orphans in the regular orphanages or social welfare institutes in China. But if you add the outside groups like foster homes, there are around a million children. 

Plus, there's another group of children...

 There are children who aren't lucky enough to live in an swi- The street children. (This is a whole other topic that I won't get into. A very sad topic) 

My point is that their are millions of Orphans and that's just in China! 

I saw a handful of those kids with my very own eyes! 

 I've decided to share a few pictures with you today. 

Here's their beautiful darling faces. 

This last little girl in yellow was the one Shane would have ran with! Oh, that little face! 

What did you see? I bet a lot of you are saying "Well, it has cute stickers and it's bright. " 

When I looked at orphanage photos a year ago, I thought that too. 

But while I was there, I don't remember seein those stickers! Or thinking it was bright and happy. 

It was dark. 

It was dreary. 

It smelled like illness and sweat. 

I could feel their pain!

These children ARE in pain! They hurt! It is a hurt that most of us have never felt! A hurt I would NOT wish on anyone!

They need us and they need us now! 

Showing you this one again. 

Did you catch that this is our Chu? 

I'm sure some of you did. 

Confession: 

Most pictures that I put on my FB page were photoshopped to give Chu good coloring. I picked out the cutest pictures and doctored them but this was the reality. 

Obviously, I didn't want to face it! 

This was the picture that made me realize my son wasn't waiting in a happy/Rich loving environment. 

He was an orphan. 

He was in pain! 

He needed me! 

He needed me right then! He didn't get me for another half of year! 

He'd weighed the same weight for over 2 years! 

In two months he has gained 4 pounds!  

There was no reason for him to not gain! None! 

It was senseless. 

How did we get so lucky to get

This squishy little dude that giggles at our mere touch... Sometimes he giggles simply because I look at him. 

 

This little dude who pulls funny faces just to make us laugh. 

We lovingly call this face his "crazy Kung foo face" He has perfect comical timing! Pulls this face anytime we get too serious! Lol

This little dude who soaking up love like a sponge and is trying his hardest to give 10 x more love back. 

He can't quite pucker his lips and his kisses sound more like "mop" then a "smooch."

Chu is darling! He is precious! How did we get so lucky?

 

The statistics are high! 

 You could get lucky too! 

There's lots of darling children waiting! Lots of cute personalities hiding behind these sad faces! 

Give them a chance! 

Pray for them! Pray for what our Heavenly Father wants you to do for them. It might be to...

Donate to Love without Boundaries

(Not UNICEF!) 

Donate to adoption funds! (Heck, if someone would give us the money we'd be back for the little girl in yellow.;) )

Adopt yourself! You'll be amazed how The Lord provides the money and the room in your heart. 

Don't forget them! 

They need you now!