Scary words and doctor appointments

We had Oliver Chu's first appointment with a specialist today. 

But...

I think I need to back up and tell you a few things...

Oliver was adopted through China's "special need"program. (A lot of you know this but I know a few don't.)

The phrase "special need" tends to scare people. They think of kids with bigger mental issues, major heart issues, cancer ect... Let me be extremely brief and tell you "special need" CAN be those things. But It can also be really simple things like missing a finger, small weight, born premature, being older then 4 years of age, being born (gasp) a boy. (There's an unnecessary fear here in the US for adopting boys. It really bugs!)

Chu was also considered "Special Focus" which basically means... "They" thought he would have a harder time Finding a family. (Sometimes, files are not special focus at first. Sometimes, files are matched with families. If the families chose not to move forward then a file can become "special focus." In Chu's case, it was probably because he had more then one need. 

The first and very simple need was Pigeon Chest.  Basically, his rib looks like it was broken and healed wrong. This does not affect him, at all! It simply just something you can see. 

As he's gained weight, I've forgotten it was there. I don't even see it. 

The second need... Was his size. 

In Chu's case, he was "labeled" with dwarfism.  I say "labeled" because I really don't think their were any tests done and HELLO! He was only 13 pounds! Did they feed him? NO!

I may sound bitter and I am about the starving. But that label! I'm so thankful for that label!!! 

Do you remember the post about the word I woke up with in my head?  Here's the post if you don't. 

http://sweetremininiscence.blogspot.com/2014/03/let-adventure-begin.html?m=1

That word was DWARFISM! That word guided us to our son! 

Dwarfism.

 It's another word that scares people. I don't understand this. I really don't. People with dwarfism are just shorter people. That's it!  Hmmm... A person that's short. 

A little person.  

Guess what?! That's me! So again, Chu takes after momma. :) 

I have another beatiful story about dwarfism that I will tell in another post. 

(And sense were on the subject Quit using the word "Midget" it's very doragatory! It's a true scary word! Little people cringe at this word because it was a circus word.) 

I'm going to be really frank!  WE DO NOT CARE IF CHU HAS DWARFISM. Really! He will live a full and happy life either way! 

So back to the Dr. Appointment.

This was NOT a geneticist. This was a "special need" specialist from Primary Children's hospital.  

(I think it's so cool that he drove all that way to help children out here!)

We don't have difinitive answers on whether Chu is a Little Person. More tests on that are coming. (Thyroid and others) 

Honestly, he's going to be little anyways. Even if he doesn't have the typical dwarfism he most likely will have a secondary form of dwarfism from Malnourishment. 

We are also doing a bone age to see what age his bones are. 

But here's what we do know... 

His heart, lungs, and overall health is good! 

There is some slight concern with hearing. He was a bit low in high frequency noises. This could be caused by cold or allergies. So We will be going back in a few months to check again. 

His weight had "plateaued" at 19 pounds. Two happy reasons for this- 

1. He's moving! He's moved more in the last few months then his whole three years of life! (Stuck in a crib 20+ hours a day!) 

2. He's not gaining because his body has been fixing things! 

I'm not exaggerating!!!

•His belly button use to stick out 1/2 inch. I measured it. Its still an outy but it's fairly flat. 

•His front right tooth use to be almost horizontal to the floor. It was pretty bad. 

I thought it was from this finger but he still sucks on his finger and That tooth is straight down!  I can't help but be amazed at what good nutrician can do! 

•Last but not least, he's grown an inch in the last two months! (This is the first of any growth we've seen!  He's 27 inches tall! 

Chu's file was made August 2012 he was 24 inches long. He was 26 inches long the day we got him. So he had only grown 2 inches in 2 years. 

So that inch in two months is huge!

The doctor said,

"I charted Oliver's weight and height. Oliver is currently in the 50% for a 9 month old maybe a few 10 month babies." 

He's still so tiny. This was taken a few days ago. 

But look at where we came from! 

Thighs that I could wrap my short fingers around and touch.  

These pictures really don't show how small he was. His skin has a false chubby appearance. 

It's like a sharpet puppy. Like his skin grew but his bones and muscles didn't. 

See his left arm? Blow it up and really look. That's how big his arms really were. Absolutely no muscle and fat just That weird skin thing... So crazy...

And look how big his head was to his body. Poor baby... 

 One inch is big on him! 

It was a good appointment. 

Thanks so much for prayers. 

By the way... 

The nurses all pronounced him

"The cutest thing ever!" 

I might be a touch prejudice, just a touch, ;) but I agree! 

My hero home 4 months

Our little monkey has been home 4 months! 

Can you believe it? 

He's such a part of our home! 

The pitter patter of little feet...

Chu is pretty much running as fast as he can, these days.  He still falls a lot and I sure worry about his noggin. 

He's still not a fan of the "green blanket of deathly needles" aka grass. Although, he has finally decided to leave the blanket he thought he was marooned on and walk across the grass.

 (This is good but, honestly, it was nice to have him confined while I did yard work. Haha... ) 

Also, He absolutely hates when momma weeds the garden and weeding has to be done so... There is a lot of whining! 

Moving on up... 

He has some interesting techniques at climbing on the couch.

 The first one I call the "ballerina technique". He sticks his super flexy leg and foot up on the couch, like a short ballerina at a practicing bar, then pulls himself up. Here's video of the ballerina technique. 

http://youtu.be/dj472qRrjvk

The second is literally "backwards." This one only works if the recliner is flipped up. He leans the back of his head against the recliner. Then, he walks his feet up the console. (That's some creative thinking right there!) 

He will venture to play a bit with toys now. Maybe only 20 minutes a day but that's better then nothing. Food is still more important then toys! 

But he is not gulping bottles down anymore. In fact, he's been leaving an ounce. This is Huge! 

Fun firsts...

We've had a lot of first with Chu this last month. 

First time in a pool. 

He loved it! 

And makeshift pools. 

He also went to his first real swimming pool. 

He loved the baby float. But still liked momma's arms better. :) 

We went to the lake for the Fourth of July.  Chu cried and cried until I took him in the water with me. Poor kids has a very ungracefull  mother and I slipped on the rock getting in. Dunked Chu face first in the fridged cold water!  I expected him to cry, because I mean, he'd just been crying for  15 minutes. But nope he looked shocked and then smiled.

Happy first Fourth of July, son! 

We went up the mountains for a load of rock  and he didn't love that. 

We hauled wood too. At first, he wasn't sure what to think of the mountains. 

Then decided he hated it. 

http://youtu.be/UyWiByyp5iA

Mr. Magoo has moves...

In the safety of the truck he cheered up enough to dance a bit. Here's a video. 

http://youtu.be/uEGrVP9Rd0A

So happy to see this boy bounce to music. 

Baby sitter blues...

There was a large fire a few weeks ago. Shane and I rushed to help my brother evacuate.  Chu was left with a sitter for the first time. He did well. Grandma said he kept giving kisses. With a bio child I would probably be thrilled that He really didn't miss us. But I was sad.  I'm hoping it's because he was in our own home and just thought we were outside. 

Channeling Daffy Duck...

His language is still small. Small but precious. He copies single words all the time but is not clear. He says the same phrases to get his point across. "I want up"sounds like "I on uhhh..." 

"Ion dat" for I want that. (I think he's channeling Daffy Duck from tinty toons.) 

He says thank you but doesn't actually open his mouth.  Mandarin is such a tonal language. He must be humming thank you. Ha! 

We have been teaching a bit of sign language to help us all out. 

http://youtu.be/md1SBX-M1vc

(He still says "no" when asked if his food is good. ((Cracks me up)) And yet he eats every drop and then some! He had three of those tortilla wraps that day! Plus, some fruit. )

His language is very whiny, especially for food. 

So we are working on sounding positive like this

http://youtu.be/UPns79ExQws

Built like momma...

Not growing tall but gaining weight. 

Chu is weighing in at 18 pounds 5 oz. 

He still has not grown in height. Our ped says to give him time. 

Every one comments on his tummy, that it's chubby so he must be gaining good weight, but it's really a malnourished tummy. (Protein deficiency) Were hoping it will go down more as he gets healthier. 

His belly button had gone down a half inch! Not kidding or exaggerating. 

But for the record, we love him - growth or not- big belly or not. 

Double trouble

We had a break through with Lydia and Chu. Up til' now Chu has really not liked any loves from Lydia. A kiss from Lydia was always groaned at but he is now excepting kisses and (gasp) has even given a few. 

They get in mischief together and make big messes together. They fight over toys. So, I guess they're siblings. ;) 

We still have work but it's coming. 

I'm the mom...

^ has been muttered to my older three children many times! (Especially Violet) They over love this squishy kid and who can blaim them? 

Have I mentioned he has the softest skin! It's like silk! 

The past is in the past... 

Or is it? I recently found out some new things about Chu's swi life. Some very sad things. I'm trying to process it and figure out how to write a post without giving details that are only Chu's to give. 

This info came in a time when I was really struggling with patience for a very whiny Chu.  I needed it. I am more patient with him. And the poor boy might be getting squished even more. More? ;) 

He really is my little hero. 

http://magis.to/JzggXwVWR14hIj8HDmEwCXp5

.

You make me happy!

 Last night, I was making a video and I was choosing songs. I kept playing this song called "You Make Me Happy."  I noticed that Chu was bobbing his cute little head to it so I tried to record him. 

Well, it didn't work like I planned. 

Not at all! 

 

But watch it anyways!

Three things you should know before watching this video. 

1. I had know idea I'd let the camera slip onto me so much. But I'm glad it was.  It captured how much I adore this boy. 

2. It was an automatic generating program. I would have never stopped it on my own face. (I'm camera shy) 

3. In case you watch it and don't get what were saying. Read below the video. 

4. Hold onto your seat. So much preciousness it's hard to handle! ;) 

5. I can not sing. 

http://magis.to/L3x7XgVWR14hIj8HDmEwCX13

Okay, in case you didn't catch what happened. 

I was singing " You make me happy" 

Chu was answering "my mommy"

Yes, he has said mommy before. A lot! 

But this. This was just special! 

Here it is again. without all the bells and whistles and very short. 

http://youtu.be/UmRfCMZLiB0

What a precious gift for both of us to have recorded! 

The moment, when I knew my son knew what "mommy" means! 

Sweet Chu, you really do make Mommy happy! Happy 3 month home adversary! 

How did we get so lucky?

"Out of all the kids how did you get so lucky to get him?" My sweet sister in law asked upon meeting him. 

" I know," I said and had to choke back tears as I watched him smile and the whole room light up. 

I think about this a lot! 

I just read there are 575,000 orphans in the regular orphanages or social welfare institutes in China. But if you add the outside groups like foster homes, there are around a million children. 

Plus, there's another group of children...

 There are children who aren't lucky enough to live in an swi- The street children. (This is a whole other topic that I won't get into. A very sad topic) 

My point is that their are millions of Orphans and that's just in China! 

I saw a handful of those kids with my very own eyes! 

 I've decided to share a few pictures with you today. 

Here's their beautiful darling faces. 

This last little girl in yellow was the one Shane would have ran with! Oh, that little face! 

What did you see? I bet a lot of you are saying "Well, it has cute stickers and it's bright. " 

When I looked at orphanage photos a year ago, I thought that too. 

But while I was there, I don't remember seein those stickers! Or thinking it was bright and happy. 

It was dark. 

It was dreary. 

It smelled like illness and sweat. 

I could feel their pain!

These children ARE in pain! They hurt! It is a hurt that most of us have never felt! A hurt I would NOT wish on anyone!

They need us and they need us now! 

Showing you this one again. 

Did you catch that this is our Chu? 

I'm sure some of you did. 

Confession: 

Most pictures that I put on my FB page were photoshopped to give Chu good coloring. I picked out the cutest pictures and doctored them but this was the reality. 

Obviously, I didn't want to face it! 

This was the picture that made me realize my son wasn't waiting in a happy/Rich loving environment. 

He was an orphan. 

He was in pain! 

He needed me! 

He needed me right then! He didn't get me for another half of year! 

He'd weighed the same weight for over 2 years! 

In two months he has gained 4 pounds!  

There was no reason for him to not gain! None! 

It was senseless. 

How did we get so lucky to get

This squishy little dude that giggles at our mere touch... Sometimes he giggles simply because I look at him. 

 

This little dude who pulls funny faces just to make us laugh. 

We lovingly call this face his "crazy Kung foo face" He has perfect comical timing! Pulls this face anytime we get too serious! Lol

This little dude who soaking up love like a sponge and is trying his hardest to give 10 x more love back. 

He can't quite pucker his lips and his kisses sound more like "mop" then a "smooch."

Chu is darling! He is precious! How did we get so lucky?

 

The statistics are high! 

 You could get lucky too! 

There's lots of darling children waiting! Lots of cute personalities hiding behind these sad faces! 

Give them a chance! 

Pray for them! Pray for what our Heavenly Father wants you to do for them. It might be to...

Donate to Love without Boundaries

(Not UNICEF!) 

Donate to adoption funds! (Heck, if someone would give us the money we'd be back for the little girl in yellow.;) )

Adopt yourself! You'll be amazed how The Lord provides the money and the room in your heart. 

Don't forget them! 

They need you now!

Lilacs and Mothers

If you hadn't caught on that I love flowers. You will. I suppose It was a must. I come from a long line of flower lovers on both sides. 

I'm so thankful this gene was passed down to me. 

It is hard for me to pick a favorite flower but Lilacs win. 

As a child, I Remember hiding in the lilac bushes and just loving that sweet fragrance and the magic of imagination that turned  regular bushes into houses. 

My favorite memory includes my Mom.  I guess it's more like memor- ies Because it happened almost every year. 

Mom always picks me a giant bouquet of lilacs. 

When I was a preschooler, I remember going with her to a vacant church that had giant lilac bushes and we would cut big bouquets.  

At school age, I would come home from school to the gorgeous purple bouquets on my dresser. I could smell them before I could see them. The smell and anticipation was amazing. 

My mom planted bushes outside my window so I could open my window and enjoy the smell every spring. 

(I have lilacs planted at almost every window at my home, now. )

Even as a grown up, mom brings me lilacs. One year she drove three hours to bring me a big bouquet. 

She's brought me little lilac plants to plant around our home.  Shane and I have planted, at least, ten. And we don't have enough! 

This year,  Shane brought me home practically a whole bush that he'd cut/ stole off a vacant lot. (Pictured below)

Lilacs take more effort. You have to find the perfect bush and cut and break the branches to bring them to a loved one. 

They take much more effort the buying a bouquet at the store. 

Then lilacs really have to be babied so they last as long as possible. Cutting them just right to fit in the vase. Plucking leaves below the water line to prevent rot.  (If your name is Lacy you might make a huge mess!)

Keeping the bouquet alive includes  Draining the water and putting fresh to prevent mold. Keeping the bouquet in the right room tempurature. And even after all this, they might only last two days. 

So why? Why make the effort? Why bother when they only last a moment? 

Because they are special. They evoke nastalgia, antiquity, imagination, they are stunning to look at! But most of all they remind me of love and sacrifice from my mom.  

That's what Mother's  do. They love us unconditionally. They sacrifice for their children. They put forth effort for special moments. 

My Mom is such a special sweet person. I am so thankful she is my mom. This one act of kindness shown through lilacs is just a drop in the bucket of what she's done.  Dear Mom, I hope you know how much I love you! I hope you know I realize your sacrifices. Happy Mothers Day sweet Mom! 

I hope I'm half the momma she is. Being a mom isn't always easy but I'm so thankful to be a mom. I'm so thankful that Heavenly Father has I trusted five precious little souls into my care. 

I'm thankful for our little newbie and how god guided us to him! 

And TODAY, I'm extremely thankful for Another mom. Chu's birth mom! 

Somewhere on the other side of the world another amazing mom is sad. She's missing this little boy. 

How do I know this? I guess I don't, for sure. I have never met her and probably won't until the good lord brings us together on the other side. 

But my own mother intuition knows.Chu's  mom is sad. She's missing him. She's wondering about him. Chu was found this very weekend three years ago. Oh the irony... I'm sure this weekend never passes without pain. 

Chu's birth mom made the ultimate sacrifice! She couldn't afford medical care and probably couldn't afford to feed him. So she did what she felt was best. 

Chu will grow up knowing that two momma's love him very much. 

Someday when we meet on the other side, I'm going to wrap my arms around her neck and thank her. 

I just bet when that day happens that there will be lilacs. :) 

Happy Birth Mother's Day to her and all the birth momma's out there. 

Happy Mothers Day to all moms! 

My hands are full...

We haven't ventured out very much but almost every outing I hear, "Wow! You've got your hands full." 

Most of the time, I think this is said with love or just because it's something to say. There's  a few people that have that "your absolutely nuts" look to go with the comment. Ha! 

"Yeah, I do." I say with a smile but I'm thinking you don't know the half of it. 

Many adoptive friends have tried to prepare me for when were home.

"It's harder then bringing home a newborn." They all would say. 

Thinking back to when I had my first baby... I was scared to death! Much more scared then I was with our adoption. But There's  many things that you learn to do pretty fast. A lot of motherly instinct kicks in. By a month in, you can distinguish from a "I'm hungry" cry, "I'm wet" cry, or "I hurt" cry. You can tell from your child's face if there pooping or in pain, mad, content, or hungry.  You, at least, know what to expect, most of the time. Like he will sleep at noon but I'll be up all night. Ha... True story.

 If your nursing, your baby's a pro by now and your boobs are past the tendernous.  If your not, You most likely have the formula figured out and can make a bottle with your eyes shut.

 You can change a diaper like a wiz. Poop no longer scares or gags you because you've seen enough of it that your immune. 

That little baby relys on you and knows you'll meet every need. 

You may have even experience one of my most favorite moments as a new mom. If not, it's coming soon. 

This moment- 

We all know that baby's only think of one thing. Food. 

Your cradling your sweet angel baby in your arms. They are eating like they normally do. (For me, it was nursing) Chugging along swallowing that sweet nector.  Your studying there little face. Watching there plump little cheeks move in and out, there eyelashes fluttering gently as they swallow. 

Then suddenly, they take their eyes of the prize. They look up. They look at you! They stop drinking. They stop drinking long enough to study your face for a change. 

 Your eyes meet.  

You see your love reflected back.

It's only for a moment, but you know that they know it is you providing that white stuff they love so much! Food is love for an infant...

And that moment gets you through the next 12  months of sleep deprivation. 

So after four kids, I should be a pro. I mean I've seen it all. Ive experienced a lot. I've been pooped on, puked on, changed more diapers then I can count. Said things I never thought I would say like... "We mustn't ever ever put pee in a squirt gun!" 

With Chu I wasn't really scared. Scared to leave my kids and scared of the airplane flights. Scared, a little the day before, that I wouldn't attach to him. Not at all scared of taking care of Chu.

 I think two things were going on. One, Heavenly Father was carrying me. I had given my fear to him. Two, I thought I was prepared. 

I was. I was prepared as you can be without living it. 

But living it. It's entirely different.  Had I known how hard it is to know what to do... I would have been a little more scared. 

One month home with Chu I'm still figuring things out. With our little Chu, it's like putting together a puzzle but your missing peices. Missing peices like love, attention, touch, speech, sound, activity, reflexes that infants go through, food and nutrician. 

So we cut and paint our own puzzle piece to fill in the space. (My grandma use to do this. I learn from the best! ) Sometimes, when we think we have the peice just right we realize we have to tweak it even more for the unique space. Sometimes, we have to take out peices that we thought were okay and their not. Sometimes, we have to remove pieces that other people put there that are wrong! 

The word "Mom" is such a precious word. But in Chu's orphanage (swi) "mama" was used for every Nanny. I find myself struggling with the fact that when Chu calls for "Mama" it may not be because he wants me. How many "momma's" has he known? 

10? 

More then 10?!? 

 So, I feel a lot of pressure to teach him that here... Mama, it's special.  This Mama is forever! 

I think throwing in the swi was allowed because Chu throws food. For a child who wants food every minute, he sure throws a lot of it. He throws other things too.  Sometimes, if he's mad and, sometimes, just as a game. So that's one peice we are trying to replace. 

I've been told that in Ch;na they don't tell children "no". So when Chu is told "no" he laughs. Yup, apparently, the word "no" is hilarious. Let me tell you, with that giggle and that smile it's really hard for me to keep a straight face too. Haha...

Chu can crawl about three steps, only. we were home a week before realizing that was it. His little arms just can't hold him up for very long and his flexability pushes him off of his tops of his knees and onto the insides of his legs. It looks like a frog. So Chu has physical theropy for crawling. Crawling is so important! You can read about it http://www.babble.com/baby/crawling-is-crucial/

We are working on whining. Whining doesn't happen so much when all of my children are home. Chu is more comfortable in crowds. (In fact, he's down right charming in crowds!) 

I'm guessing, he learned to be charming to get attention, praise, and possibly extra food. 

So, no....He doesn't just have an out going personality. This is why just Shane and I are feeding him (no exceptions) and Making his world small. 

And he was surrounded by people all the time in the swi. So when it's just Chu, Lydia, and I, there are a lot more insecurities. Whining to be held all day long. Whining for food, even though, he just ate and ate a lot! I don't always know how to handle this so I'm asking for prayers in this area. For him, for Shane and for me. 

But please don't pray that I'll learn patience! ;) Ha! I know how patience is learned and I can't learn it right now. I've been learning it for over a year... Waiting for this sweet child! 

 Nap time is a strange puzzle peice...it was great the first two weeks. But now! Sometimes, he just will not go to sleep. Or he'll go to sleep and Lydia won't. He wants held all day but at bed time he doesn't want held, at all... Hmmm...

Most of you know, Chu drinks from a bottle.

 (This is a first for me. I've probably made 5 bottles my whole life now I make 5 a day. I am getting to be a pro at it, but some REAL honesty here, I miss nursing! It is just so convenient and I really dislike forking out $25 a week!)

Am I in a hurry to ween him off of a bottle?  Not at all! 

 In fact, I was thrilled he was still on a bottle! The bottle allows us to reprogram his brain, in a sense. 

The first time I tried to feed Chu a bottle I hadn't cut the nipple. I learned that Chu could not suck. Forty five minutes later and he hadn't drank one whole ounce! 

It was then that I found the bottle the director had sent with him. The nipple was cut so big I could stick my finger in it! 

(Most orphanages have so many babies to feed that they cut the nipple big so the babies can drink fast. They also prop bottles up and many babies do drown. )

This is such a normal and important reflex that I knew we needed to teach it. 

So I cut the nipple. Not as big as they did but fairly big. Then a week after home I got new nipples and cut them but smaller. Just last week, I bought new nipples and did not cut them. :)  

Chu can hold the bottle himself but I don't let him. This is one of those backward puzzle peices. I tuck one arm behind my back and either put a toy in his hand or give it a massage. As I feed him the bottle I tuck his face as close to my chest as possible. So he can smell what his momma smells like. I will rub his face. Whisper sweet nothings to him like "bao bei" precious.  He needs this for so so many reasons. Touch, attention, bonding...

The first week, Chu was so starved for food he wouldn't look anywhere, while drinking, but at the bottle. 

Then one day, as I was rubbing his face, watching his plump cheeks move, whispering my sweet words, and counting his dark eyelashes chu stopped drinking. 

He looked at my face. 

He looked in my eyes. 

I saw the love reflected back. 

He smiled. The sweetest smile.

 He knows... At least a little... That I'm the one providing the white nector. 

And that look will get me through the sleep deprived nights, the whining, the jealous toddlers,...

 That look is my nector.  That look is my patience. 

I can..

Watch as a giant daddy pickes up and nuzzles a itty bitty boy that comes running with his arms up saying "Baba... Baba." 

Watch how a big 12 year old boy teaches a baby to "vroom" a car. And drive it all over his head. 

Watch how a 9 year old melts looking at her toddler siblings and wants to mother them herself. 

Watch as my 7 year old gets so excited to show Chu and Lydia our new baby goats. So excited she can't stand in one spot. 

Watch as Lydia learns to love someone who has taken a bit of spot light. 

Listen... As her little sweet voice says " "momma, Juice (Chu's) want more... Momma, Juice is crying. Momma can I dive un to juice?"

Watch as that bao bei  boy learns to be in a family. Learns to dance, to play, to pray,  to love. 

Listen to all of their giggles. 

Life is definitely not perfect! 

I do have My hands full! 

But you don't know the half of it...

You should see my heart! 

So full...

A bright happy new...

 

 Tulips! They mean spring is here. Glorious spring when all things become new again. 

My Tulips hold a little bit of magic for me. They always bloom right at the perfect moment. Last year,  they bloomed on the day of our first home study visit. 

This year, I thought they might bloom  for our first visit from our social worker, since coming home. The visit was last Wednesday, but no tulips. 

No, they had something better planned. 

They will open in the morning! 

Easter morning! 

I can count on my tulips!  I know they will bloom every spring. 

There are a lot of things I can count on. 

I have always had food,  clean water, and a roof over my head. 

I know my parents and grandparents love me unconditionally. I know that Jesus loves me. That he died on the cross for me and all of you. 

This is Chu's first Easter. His first Christian Holliday of any kind. He knows nothing about Christ. He knows nothing of unconditional love.  He has had so many care givers in his life. There's been a whole lot of people and very little attention. 

He might be expecting us to take him back in a few months. 

He might be looking at the new person that walked in the door and think they might be a better momma. 

He might smile really big just to get food and not because he's happy. 

He might be wishing to be back where things are familiar. Where he understands the language. Where everyone has dark hair. Where there's a very strict routine and he knows what's coming next...

Except the food... A full belly might just...mean love. 

Which is why we are kindly asking that you don't feed Chu. That only His momma and babba feed him. That no one holds him but us. This is called cacooning. We are making Chu's world small but full of us and love. 

Give us time to teach him that all the new  things going on around him are a good new. 

A bright happy new like tulips. 

A new that Heavenly Father wanted for a precious, special little boy. 

And how perfect that Chu's first Holliday is Easter. 

Happy Easter! 

The tomb is empty. 

He is risen!

Update: Easter morning. 

Open to recieve the light...